Today, I found this blog post that I wrote two years ago. It spoke peace to my present self so I thought I would share it with you. I have been trying to do too much, in fact, everything, and I am ready to hang the surrender flag.
The rain has been falling here all day. My window is open as I type, the rain air feels new and fresh. Often, we need such new and fresh thoughts to replace the ones that keep us frozen instead of freed.
Here, friends, is a freeing thought- I do not HAVE TO do EVERYTHING I want to do EVERYDAY. And you do not either. Take a collective sigh of relief and smile. Recently, I have been thinking of habits. Habits for me. Habits for my kids. Habits for our family. There are so many habits I want to build, from all of us making our beds every day, the kids putting away what they are using, to the habit of kindness. It can be daunting to even begin. That is usually my area of weakness, starting. I have many many ideas, plans and desires but beginning them is often overwhelming. Partly, because the list is long, and If I have my family practice them daily, that would be all we do. Now, that is crazy. Or maybe not. Perhaps all of our living is merely a group of many habits anyway?
It came to my mind, why not pick one habit and start with that for a few weeks. Let it become a habit, and then move on to the next one. I have decided to start with making my bed. Allow my kids to see me do it, without nagging them to do it themselves. Let it become familiar to myself and my muscle memory. I realized I need to try it, before I can ask my children to.
During this process, is when the freeing thought came in, I do not have to do each habit everyday. What if I did them most days? Allow me to use the example of washing my face. I wash my face many nights, but not every night. Instead, of feeling bad about it, may we actually begin a habit of letting the shame go. I know I will wash my face, I both enjoy and value it. It will happen, but maybe not everyday. Can I be ok with that? Can you be ok with giving up an expectation you have?
In other words, let us give ourselves some grace here. Let us give ourselves freedom.
Some things I think I need to do EVERYday, maybe I don’t.
There are things I may do everyday and choose to.
I am ok.
You are ok.
I don’t have to be perfect with routine. You do not have to be perfect with routine either. Rest, I have heard is allowing the present to be imperfect. This is one area my personality has difficult time coming to terms with that I will not be perfect. I want to do things well, but that is not the same as perfect. Can I throw away the thought of living perfectly so that I can truly live?
I heard someone say, you follow your rhythm the most you can, and it is good to always have something to fall back into when you get off course.
Habits serve us better by not feeling so strict about them.
It takes admitting that I cannot do everything as well as I want to. But we CAN do a few things we can do really well.
Freedom to you sisters in your daily habits and in your not so daily ones.