When I am in the middle of reading a fiction book I almost always skip ahead. Sometimes it is to the end and other times it is only a few chapters ahead. Once I am satisfied to know what I did not know before, I go back to my place and begin reading there again. Yup, I admit it. My husband always makes fun of me when he catches me doing that. The other day I caught my five year old daughter doing exactly the same thing.
During a movie I will forward through scary or intense parts I would rather not see.
At the coffee shop where I am writing I just watched a young boy drink an entire apple juice box. Why do kids, including this young man, drink everything in a juice box in nearly one big sip? They want the goodness to keep coming. I so identify with that. I want the goodness to keep coming, so I skip over the scary, overwhelming and hard parts of books and movies so I can get back to the good, and the wonderful. I want to stay right there.
The thing is, in life we cannot really do that. Gosh, wouldn’t that be nice? In personal struggles and difficult circumstances we have no remote or power to skip over it. We have to live it. We have to walk through it. We have a choice of how we do that, in fear or in faith, with others or alone. Some difficult things in my life this year has brought out fear, anxiety and worry more to the surface in my life. In all of these things I have wanted to overcome them all already and be done with them. But, it isn’t that easy. We learn things and grow in the process. The in between time between the trouble and the victory is place where we become. It’s the place where we get to see God be who He said He will be. He will be your refuge and your strength, even if it doesn’t quite look like how you imagined it to be.
I want to become so I have to accept the hard too. I am still in that process.
I have been walking through Beth Moore’s bible study The Quest this summer. It has come exactly at the right time. It has encouraged being honest with God and asking him all the questions you have. Even the scary ones. God won’t be hurt or surprised when you ask them. The study has asked questions I have needed to verbally process within myself and God.
This week we have begun reading and talking about the book of Job. This is a book of the Bible that I have skipped. I remember intending to read it probably ten years ago and I never got around to it until now. God had to include in the Bible for a good reason, right? So far, I see Job in the most horrible circumstances. I am going to keep reading to see what I find. I won’t skip it this time.
What do you need to face and not to skip in your life?